I've just about given up on making theories about love. Heartbreaks are better (philosophically, not experientially) because the debris and detritus are there to sift through. Still, it doesn't help much. We learn things and take them to the new relationship and learn newer things we also take to the next relationship and so on. It all circles back to being yourself, despite others' demands and desires. The problem with that, however, is being authentic is no guarantee of love either. If anything, it often makes you more keenly aware of why people compromise and compartmentalize for Cupid's sake. The paradox is compelling: to be yourself fully often means you might coast through life alone, but there's a deep need for community we can't just ignore. You articulated these anxieties well, how they intersect and overlap with self-image, societal expectations, beauty standards, and the overall performance that exists in society. Keep writing, and I hope you also keep loving.
The fear to admit being wrong or to acknowledge hurtful (intended or not) consequences of our actions on another because we’ve grown up being punished (with rejection, manipulation, physically etc.) for it is so real.
Thank you for writing and sharing this because even though I know that everyone is growing and learning through a litany of hurts (given and received), I’m not hearing/reading their accounts of it and so it’s easy to feel like ‘am I a monster or is this what it means to be alive?’. Reading this was very ‘omo, we dey, this is what it means to be alive.’
This passage is so beautifully written! It's saying that you don't need to earn love by being perfect or trying to impress others. You deserve love just for being yourself, and the right people will accept and celebrate your uniqueness. It acknowledges that it's hard to break free from self-doubt and learn to love yourself, but it's possible to unlearn negative patterns and cultivate self-love. The message is all about embracing your true self and deserving love without conditions.
I have said it once and there might never be a time where I would not say it. Your ability to distill such complex thoughts, feelings, emotions into digestible portions is otherworldly.
Introspection is extremely painful. But pain as I have come to learn, may not give you anything but it'll give you a new set of eyes.
It's not all who see that have the words to speak. Thank you for letting our own lack of voice be heard.
I'm so glad you resonated deeply and took the time to craft such a detailed and sweet comment. Introspection is indeed painful! Thank you so much for your support :)
I've just about given up on making theories about love. Heartbreaks are better (philosophically, not experientially) because the debris and detritus are there to sift through. Still, it doesn't help much. We learn things and take them to the new relationship and learn newer things we also take to the next relationship and so on. It all circles back to being yourself, despite others' demands and desires. The problem with that, however, is being authentic is no guarantee of love either. If anything, it often makes you more keenly aware of why people compromise and compartmentalize for Cupid's sake. The paradox is compelling: to be yourself fully often means you might coast through life alone, but there's a deep need for community we can't just ignore. You articulated these anxieties well, how they intersect and overlap with self-image, societal expectations, beauty standards, and the overall performance that exists in society. Keep writing, and I hope you also keep loving.
I get you 100%. Thank you so much for sharing.
The fear to admit being wrong or to acknowledge hurtful (intended or not) consequences of our actions on another because we’ve grown up being punished (with rejection, manipulation, physically etc.) for it is so real.
Thank you for writing and sharing this because even though I know that everyone is growing and learning through a litany of hurts (given and received), I’m not hearing/reading their accounts of it and so it’s easy to feel like ‘am I a monster or is this what it means to be alive?’. Reading this was very ‘omo, we dey, this is what it means to be alive.’
Lmaooo. Love the last sentence. You’re welcome and I really appreciate this comment.
In reading this your writing, it took me back to the purpose of life. We live to gain some and let some go but in all, we move on.
You're so right!
Wow well written 👏🏽
❤️
This passage is so beautifully written! It's saying that you don't need to earn love by being perfect or trying to impress others. You deserve love just for being yourself, and the right people will accept and celebrate your uniqueness. It acknowledges that it's hard to break free from self-doubt and learn to love yourself, but it's possible to unlearn negative patterns and cultivate self-love. The message is all about embracing your true self and deserving love without conditions.
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
I have said it once and there might never be a time where I would not say it. Your ability to distill such complex thoughts, feelings, emotions into digestible portions is otherworldly.
Introspection is extremely painful. But pain as I have come to learn, may not give you anything but it'll give you a new set of eyes.
It's not all who see that have the words to speak. Thank you for letting our own lack of voice be heard.
I'm so glad you resonated deeply and took the time to craft such a detailed and sweet comment. Introspection is indeed painful! Thank you so much for your support :)