No such thing as a happily ever after. The cyclical nature and unstable conditions of the universe ensures the impermanence of all things. Impermanence is an inherent characteristic of every single situation you will ever encounter in your life.
Things will change, end, undergo polarity shifts such that the things that hitherto made you happy becomes the source of your unhappiness.
Awareness and acceptance of this transience, and the inevitability of change lessens your attachment to them, and you can actually enjoy the pleasures of life while they last without fear of loss/anxiety.
Also, accepting this fact doesn’t preclude the longevity of marriage, which is probably what you mean by “happily ever after”. I think it rather makes you appreciate your relationships more, and maybe you might actually get a chance at being part of something that lasts forever? Or maybe not, no one knows anything.
I heard this guy talk about how it’s more evolutionary than cultural: that the survival of the species has always prioritised people who look out for other people — not even because it’s romantic but because it means the species will survive. There are apparently also studies that show that single people (who have no committed relationships, including close family bonds) don’t have the same life expectancy.
Looks like Biology will use whatever it can — be it butterflies, Hollywood, romance novels and cultural pressure — to achieve its goal 😅
I just love it when people leave such thoughtful comments. It’s near impossible to know if it’s innate or conditioned, unless we take some children to a remote place and do not expose them to conditioning about pair bonding. Then we can see
No such thing as a happily ever after. The cyclical nature and unstable conditions of the universe ensures the impermanence of all things. Impermanence is an inherent characteristic of every single situation you will ever encounter in your life.
Things will change, end, undergo polarity shifts such that the things that hitherto made you happy becomes the source of your unhappiness.
Awareness and acceptance of this transience, and the inevitability of change lessens your attachment to them, and you can actually enjoy the pleasures of life while they last without fear of loss/anxiety.
Also, accepting this fact doesn’t preclude the longevity of marriage, which is probably what you mean by “happily ever after”. I think it rather makes you appreciate your relationships more, and maybe you might actually get a chance at being part of something that lasts forever? Or maybe not, no one knows anything.
Took the words write outta my mouth. Such a beautifully written piece.
I heard this guy talk about how it’s more evolutionary than cultural: that the survival of the species has always prioritised people who look out for other people — not even because it’s romantic but because it means the species will survive. There are apparently also studies that show that single people (who have no committed relationships, including close family bonds) don’t have the same life expectancy.
Looks like Biology will use whatever it can — be it butterflies, Hollywood, romance novels and cultural pressure — to achieve its goal 😅
(This is the conversation, in case you’re interested: https://youtu.be/-gfEjOgxBfI?si=IPU8uRNIJ20IqUHn)
Thanks for sharing this. I will check it out!
Beautifully written. The dread that comes with taking the road less travelled, is real.
It seems like there's no real way out. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I wonder, how do we know if it's an Innate desire? Without using ourselves as the test subject, susceptible to damage from what is undergone.
What if you take that path and you find, way too late, that romantic love was an Innate desire for you?
I just love it when people leave such thoughtful comments. It’s near impossible to know if it’s innate or conditioned, unless we take some children to a remote place and do not expose them to conditioning about pair bonding. Then we can see